This evening/early morning has been quite a rollercoaster for me. To begin it off, I had a visit from the ex, one of which I should have seen (and probably did, subconsciously) coming. He is not over me. I am saddened by this thought, because I have made a point to not look back, but only hoped that it would not come to this.
Just when I have met a guy who has awed me in so many ways, this complication has come into my life.---or rather resurfaced. Being who I am, I am honest to him, and in return, fear that it just may be the demise of the newly created romance. While I am not quite sure when he was hurt by someone who went back to her ex, I saw the fear and angst in his face when I mentioned how my ex tried to make a move on me...
It hurt, and yet I felt so guilty----why? I hate being the cause of anyone's problems, pains, etc. I usually go OUT of my way to not be that person....and yet, here I stand.
In addition, I also feel anger towards my ex----who gives him the right to assume that I am free and available? Granted, the discussion of me seeing a potential did not arise, this being because I did not want to approach the subject and talk about it---then I stand back and wonder why I did not want to tell him.
That brings me to this--i don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have (the Ex)....I know this may seem confusing...it may be the fact that it's almost 3am and I am tired...but coming full circle to the fact that I do not like being the cause of someone's pain.
So there you have it.
Question begs, from Potential and ex----I do not want to get back with my ex. He and I had our dance in Life, and now, i've got another suitor (so to speak).
The wounds are still fresh---i did not think they were, but having him around is not healthy.
In any case---i cannot keep on worrying about everyone else's feelings...Sometimes i get too caught up in that and then forget who I'm trying to ultimately make happy----Me.
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