Remember that last post?

I certainly remember that last post i had. I felt like I was going to explode with emotions. It all makes sense now----Aunt Flow came to town after being MIA for a couple of months...Thank goodness, is all I have to say to that.

And...on top of all of it, I was able to share my thoughts and concerns with my boyfriend. We are better now, because of it...at least for the time being.

Is that me being pessimistic? Possibly.

In any case, I am now dreading all of the future possibilities of my job, or even potential job. I do not see a future for myself in the position I am in right now, and was even approached today to take on a lateral move to a different location here in Nashville, but I do not know. I like to be the unique person, the one that has something no one else has. In addition, my phlebtomoy training has been coming along, and I wanted to be more of a autonomous individual in what I can offer this company I work for....

Hrm....We never know what we really want, I guess more than anything, at the moment, I want stability and also a better paycheck.

Does this involve me going to another company? I'm sure. But when you've been with the same company for 10 years....it's hard to leave. Sure, if I were to hear that I am getting laid off soon, It would be bittersweet. I would take the unemployment and be jobless for a few weeks, but then i'd be going right back to work somewhere.

Honestly, I really want to start a family. I'm finally saying it out loud, and yes, my boyfriend knows this, but I don't know how much he knows this. Totally ironic considering the fact that I've just started taking BC this past weekend....HA!

In any case....I've quit smoking, quit starbucks (well, not quit altogether, but no more triple grande peppermint mocha's everyday)....AND i've quit drinking an energy drink everyday.

I'm au natural now. It feels kind of good, but then it doesn't.

Am I subliminally prepping my body to encompass a baby? I've learned from my ex that if God wanted me to have a child, he'd allow it to happen. God obviously doesn't think it's a good time for me...not then, and not now. I will continue to patiently wait....