A whirlwind of....emotions?

I found myself swirling into the abyss of darkness today---with my thoughts, and then I thought....."Am I ignoring things as a defense mechanism?"

I'm sure the correct term would be "in denial."

Perhaps I am.

Self-Awareness. What exactly is it?

I'm not quite sure, but if you find out, please let me know.

I feel as though I lack in this area of Life---self-awareness is one of those commodities that apparently others (family and close friends) say I have, but I feel as though I do not possess it.

Over-analyzing, that's what I do.

Whatever happened to just scratching the surface of an emotion, and then moving on?

What's best to do? Over-analyze, dwell in the past, or live in the now, and get ready for the future?

It's a daily struggle for me.

I've been haunted by the words of an ex: "You will regret treating me the way that you did."

In about ten years (maybe not that long), I will read this and probably have an answer for that.

To date, I do feel bad, but I don't focus on feeling bad because if I did, it'd eat me up inside and out.

I always wanted to be part of the human mind psychology. Perhaps in the future I will be focused on that in a professional manner, however until that day comes, i'll just have to be an amateur about it.