So we all know, i've been in a relationship---but lately, I don't know if it is because I am just not wanting to be in a relationship, or the fact that something is trying to tell me something....or maybe it's just paranoia.....
There comes a time in my past relationships where I start to question the validity of the current relationship....and usually, I continue to go on with the relationship---and that tends to be the problem with me.
Now, I've got a good guy, but he's.....got issues. Issues, you ask? Doesn't everyone have issues? Well, yes! I too, have issues, but it seems that those close to me tend to all say the same thing: You need to find someone else....
Whatever happened to the old way of working through things? I am a firm believer that I WILL NOT find the "perfect" man....and then that makes me think of the conversation I had with a friend who stated that I should "never settle."
All this confusion starts the process of me wanting to be out of a relationship. I don't want to deal with all of this...I want to just enjoy myself. I want to be able to do the things I've wanted to do and not have to bear the consequences.
The more and more I type, the more I feel as though I should not be in a relationship, and those of you reading this, those that KNOW me will probably agree.
But...
In any case, I should not keep this information to myself, I need to go on and communicate this with my boyfriend. Yes? Yes.
It's unfair to not let him know how I feel, although you'd think the recent events that have happened he'd have some sort of sense that "something is rotten in the state of Denmark."
I guess that's a typical guy for you: They don't really want to face the challenges, or are just blind or stupid enough to think that everything is okay.
This is Day 4 of not seeing/spending time with him. I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy the time I've had to myself. It's been freeing, and uplifting. Yes, some of it is because i'm being stubborn and waiting for him to come around, but at this rate, that my NEVER happen.
Until then, and until I find the courage/time to write him a letter....I'll just continue to pretend everything is okay. After all, isn't that what most of us do anyhow?
